Shunned Emotions
by Zlyxan
Summary: Cloud reveals his feelings to Tifa, but will she accept, or shun him away?
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter I_

Shunned Emotions 

_-Zlyxan- _

Author: I find it completely retarded to write author notes in the beginning or in the end. So most likely the chapters won't include any statements from me. Sorry if it disappoints you, but I find it that stories are supposed to be written with nothing other than the chapter.

However, if you would like to contact me, very well do so. Any information should be soon applied to my profile. Well I hope you enjoy this first chapter.

-Zlyxan-

The beginning of December. It was snowing lightly with the temperature lowering. Although meteor had just passed with the sullen disease Geostigma; Midgar seemed different in some odd way. Both Tifa and Cloud knew. With Tifa helping Marleene and Denzel, Cloud was on the other end, hiding the Geostigma he had obtained. With the Geostigma that used to flow in his veins, now banished, life was much easier. Besides the rebuilding of the somewhat Midgar - everything was gone.

Cloud looked around in disbelief. The sadness burning in his eyes. Tifa glanced over to him. She knew the confused feeling that dwelt in his eyes. Cloud was mad, sad, hurt, something unexplainable. But there was nothing she could do. Cloud was always close-minded, no matter who it came to. Tifa walked over to Cloud laying her palm on his shoulder. He didn't react, but just stood there.

Cloud was motionless for a few minutes. Thinking broadly. Perhaps of the fair brunette, or perhaps of the flower girl. Tifa didn't bare to ask. Tifa let her hand drop down back to her side in defeat. She was confused. However, Cloud did not respond.

"Cloud?" Tifa called softly.

He didn't move. Neither respond. But just stood in an awkward silence. Tifa walked in front of him trying to catch his attention. Tifa lowered her head and walked away, back into the empty Seventh Heaven. Suddenly a voice appeared from behind her.

"Tifa?" The male spoke softly as if standing right next to her and whispering in her ear.

Tifa turned around abruptly, noticing the blond fighter a few feet away. His face was sincere and saddened. Tifa was confused. She was oblivious to this kind of behavior from Cloud.

Cloud stepped forward watching Tifa's actions intently. Her head was lowered, and she was gripping her right hand, which was balled into a fist.

Cloud reached his hand out to lift her head, but she stepped back. As rejected as he felt, he continued. He moved swiftly enough to wrap his arms around her small body. He closed his eyes tightening his grip around her.

Tifa couldn't fight him anymore. Tears stung her eyes and she finally let them fall. Her heart ached, knowing the only reason for both his sadness and happiness. She stood there strapped to his chest, drowning herself in his warmth.

Both of their emotions clenched together, without either one knowing the other. Sadness. . . the most overwhelming.

Cloud opened his eyes, feeling the light drop that seeped through his shirt. He pulled Tifa lightly away, his arms wrapped around her. A tear found its way down her cheek. He lightly stroke his thumb over her cheek wiping her tear away.

Her eyes were still closed, too afraid to open them. It was like time had frozen itself. Replaying every passed memory of hers. And there it was. . . the same memory that always came to mind when she was with Cloud. There in Nibelheim. Where Cloud had promised to save her whenever she was in trouble. Still true to that promise. Wrapped in his arms from harm.

His posture was the same while he held her. "Tifa. . ." He said without being able to continue. The thought of failure encircled him. His childhood friend in tears from what seemed to be sadness and anger. He remained examining her as more tears fell without any feeling he could identify.

It was getting colder, the snow falling in larger amounts. The sky blank with questioning of sunlight. Clouds spotted around, some high some low. The ground slowly being covered with a clean sheet of snow.

A strong wind was settling in. The snow was whirling around in all directions. Cloud and Tifa's hair both speckled with snow. Tifa was shivering, the snow clinging to her bare legs as well as her arms. Cloud, however, was warm, except for his arms, which were exposed because of his shirt. Cloud watched Tifa, thinking of whether to take her inside or not. She would freeze if they stood there forever.

Cloud first embraced her then he picked her up, holding her close to his chest. When they both entered the bar they were welcomed with a slight warmness.

The bar was the same. Nothing had really changed on the first floor. But inferring to the floor below. It was remodeled as a bedroom. Barret had thought twice about Tifa going to have to stay elsewhere to sleep, so Barret helped her change it a little bit. Sure the passage was a bit insane for a house, but Tifa disagreed.

Tifa had regained herself from her crying and just let Cloud carry her, trying to fall asleep in his arms. Cloud walked over to the floor panel marked as "passage" and went down to the bedroom.

The walls were still gray, but they had inputted a bed in the far right corner, along with a dresser that was on the left. There was a table in the middle and a couch right next to it.

Cloud walked over to the bed and laid Tifa gently down. Instantly, she turned her back to him. Cloud scratched the back of his head, somewhat dumbfounded. Tifa was still shivering, a little lighter than before, but still bad. Cloud ran his hand down her arm. _Cold like a block of ice, _he thought. He turned around checking the room for some sheets. But there was none to be found.

There was only one way to keep her warm and he wasn't too enthusiastic about it. He would have to encounter her in a close manner. It wasn't that he didn't want to do it. It was the fact that she would be angered, probably never talk to him again. Still, Cloud could not stand there and do nothing about it.

He sighed, rubbing his face before he removed his shirt. When he reached the bed he placed his shirt over her arms. He stared to see her reaction. But nothing. He took a deep breath then closed his eyes. He slid his arms under her body and cradled her against his chest. He squeezed his eyes tight waiting for her to hit him or do something to hurt him. But there was no movement, just the shivering.

Her skin was like cold pavement doused in ice. Cloud laid down on the couch with Tifa on top of him. He placed his shirt on her legs trying to give her as much space as possible. Finally he came to a good idea. Cloud moved her light weight body towards the back of the couch then laid on his side near the edge.

Cloud examined her face. So calm now, as the shivering had stopped. She was probably asleep now. Cloud sighed, the only time he could touch her. When she wouldn't notice how he felt. He stroked her cheek. _Beautiful. . ._ As he thought everyday he was with her. However, the hours were diminishing rapidly, and it wasn't too long before he would have to leave.

He nuzzled against her neck, inhaling her scent. He closed his eyes and drifted off.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter II_

_Shunned Emotions_

_-Zlyxan-_

Tifa awoke in silent darkness. She propped herself up on her elbows trying to look through the darkness. Cloud was gone. Tifa laid back on the couch sighing. She couldn't solidly remember what had happened the other night, but the bits and pieces she did remember could make up the night pretty well.

Tifa rose from the couch, looking from the bed back to the couch. She shook her head rubbing her temples. Somehow she couldn't quite remember walking over to sleep on the couch. How many drinks had she had that afternoon? Instead of thinking about it she went upstairs to the bar.

The bar was clean and unoccupied. Tifa glanced at the clock before walking to the doors. It was fifteen minutes to six. She peered through the glass windows watching the dark shadows of loitering people. She pressed her forehead against the clear glass staring down below at the soft snow. Memories of the day before played back over and over again in her head. That was it.

Cloud asked her to leave Midgar and go with him to live in Edge. She didn't reply and he became sad and angry believing her answer was no. But how could she just leave? She'd owned Seventh Heaven for quite a time now, and barely getting back just after meteor. There were so many things that were treasured to her. She would just have to say no. But why did she have to go? She left the questions behind going around the bar for a drink.

Tifa eyed each alcoholic beverage, but none came to interest. She wasn't much for early morning drinking but she couldn't seem to get yesterday out of her head. She took out a shot glass and a bottle of Vodka. She drank six to seven shots straight, then went to lay down.

Cloud entered Seventh Heaven. Surprisingly it was empty. _Did she take the offer?_ Cloud looked around suspiciously, finally coming in contact with the Vodka bottle. Cloud picked it up reading the label then slowly putting it down to raise the shot glass.

"This wasn't here when I left. . ." Cloud made his way down stairs silently. The room was filled with blackness. He squinted attempting to stare through. But he couldn't see anything. Quietly and steadily he walked around the room, touching the walls allowing them to guide him. His eyes darted across the room slightly seeing Tifa's limp arm hanging off the couch. Cloud rushed over to the couch where she had lain.

He didn't want to wake her but he had no choice.

"Tifa?" He said normally. She didn't wake but just dug her face in the couch. Cloud put his hand against her forehead. She was fine. Curiosity struck him, especially about the alcohol. Awkward to him that she would drink in such an early time.

Cloud stroked his thumb across her cheek just as he had before. Without warning her hand was placed on his. Cloud jumped a little noticing it wasn't a bad reaction. Tifa was still asleep. Her hand squeezed his lightly. Cloud tried to stay still, trying not to wake her. _Shit, man. I'm screwed. _He removed his hand from hers and went upstairs.

He shook his head in disgrace. Disgrace of himself. He should of comforted her last night rather than trying to skip the talking. She made no contact last night and he knew why. He didn't mean to jump to conclusions as he had. There was just no easier way. Cloud sighed sitting down at a barstool. He grabbed the shot glass and twirled it around on the table.

The time was slowly passing. Cloud bored out of his mind. Six fifty-three now. Cloud had gotten at Seventh Heaven at six twenty-eight. _Awkward how time passes, _he thought.

Cloud rose to his feet exiting the vacant bar. He went down to the Wall Market, in search of some tea. That could possibly help Tifa when she woke up. She would need it, really bad. After searching for about twenty minutes he found what he was looking for and left.

When he entered Seventh Heaven, yet again, still nobody was there. The sun was slowly rising above the city. The yellow and orange swirling together to make a new horizon color. Cloud spent his time mixing the tea. The herbs were strong and satisfying in a weird way. With the time now seven thirty-five, Cloud made his way downstairs. He sat on the table, putting the tea right next to him.

"Tifa." Cloud shook her shoulder. Tifa raised her hand to her forehead, sliding her hand down her face.

"Come on Tifa. Time to open up." Tifa reached her hand out and touched Cloud's chest then brought her hand back immediately, opening her eyes. Cloud's frown turned to a smile. Tifa rubbed her eyes making sure she was correct.

"Is there something wrong?" Cloud questioned with a sly smile. Tifa was clueless. She sat up a bit rubbing her face. Cloud gave her the tea before he questioned her again. He was serious now.

He hesitated before he spoke, "Tifa, I found a strange bottle on the bar counter, _open_." He stressed the word open then began in his regular tone.

"Can you tell me what that's about?" Tifa sipped the tea when he ended his question, trying to stall as much as she could. It didn't seem to work though. Cloud was worried now. He took the tea from her hands and stared at her with his mako-blue eyes. _Damn it. He's unbearable. . . _Before she could speak Cloud began.

"Listen Tifa. . . I understand I was a bit forward yesterday. . . but I was only trying to say something else. Just tell me what's wrong." He lowered his head, knowing what she was going to say. _"I don't want to go with you." _The thought raged around in his head.

The sadness was in his eyes again. Something she couldn't help but comfort. There was nothing she could say now. Not now, not ever. She hadn't had an explanation, especially if it was going to have her spill all her emotions out. Tifa could never do that. Probably why Aerith had a better chance. One out of many things she couldn't compare to Aerith.

"I can't. . . I won't. . . say anything. . ." Tifa was on the verge of tears again. Why couldn't she be Aerith? The one Cloud Strife had fell in love with. . . No Answer.

Cloud heard her answer and didn't need to hear anymore. He was pained. Cloud gave her the tea back and went upstairs. Tifa opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn't. There was nothing she could say. She hugged her knees, the tea still in between her hands.

She was tired and had a major headache. It wasn't soon before she had to open up. But she needed a day off. Maybe she could go visit somebody from Avalanche. Something to get Cloud out of her mind. She drank the tea slowly, then began to get up.

Cloud left Seventh Heaven. He was angry. There had to be some place secluded, peaceful, some where he could relax and think.

Cloud entered the church. The only place he was welcomed with opening arms. Practically the whole church was destroyed but it made no difference to him. Here he could lay down next to the flowers and ponder.

He walked over to the flowers. There weren't many left because of the water, but there was still some between the broken panels of wood. He sat down on the floor taking a flower into his fingers.

"Where did I go wrong Aerith?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter III

_Shunned Emotions_

_-Zlyxan-_

A day had passed after Cloud Strife had visited her. Something was wrong. As she had always believed when he wasn't in contact or distance of her. She tapped her fingers anxiously against the bar counter. It was getting late almost time for closing, but somehow the sun still glowed over Midgar. There wasn't many people entering the bar. Just the usual weird customers.

Then out of the couple of people entering the bar came a familiar face. . . Tifa smiled, walking out from behind the bar counter.

"Tifa!" Marlene yelled. Both Marlene and Denzel ran into Tifa's arms.

Tifa needed help taking care of the children, and since there was no one nearby, Aerith's stepmother offered to. For some reason she didn't appear with the kids, perhaps she was outside?

Tifa let them both go. "Where's your babysitter?" Tifa asked. Denzel scratched his head while Marlene answered.

"She stayed at home. She told us we should come back since you were finished with everything." Marlene smiled brightly. Tifa sighed.

"Alright then. You two go downstairs, I don't want you around these drunkards." They nodded and she led them down. When she reappeared upstairs she caught a glimpse of him.

"Cloud. . .?" Tifa stood still making no effort to move.

Cloud walked towards her, unable to see her face. He pressed on forward, smiling faintly. For some reason Tifa hadn't reacted to his movements. She shunned him away as she had the other day.

"Tifa." He was a few feet from her now. Right in reaching distance.

"Yes, Cloud?" Tifa lifted her head to make eye contact with Cloud. Her forehead was creased in worry of some kind. Cloud pursed his lips forcing a small smile.

"I. . . Uh. . ." Cloud didn't know what to say. He looked away from her stare. Something about it that bothered him. Like her worries penetrated right through his heart.

"What?" Tifa sounded annoyed now. He didn't imply on making her mad, he just couldn't say it. _He loved her. . ._

But what difference would it make if he told her. Tifa would go into shock and most likely say the only thing that could tear him apart. _No._

Tifa crossed her arms over her chest watching Cloud's empty expressions from her harshness. She felt the guilt run through her. However, at some point, she couldn't help but to at least cooperate in what Cloud needed to say.

Cloud's eyes shimmered in thought. He couldn't come out and say it, the feeling of rejection from Tifa would be horrendous.

"I. . ." Cloud began.

"You what, Cloud?" Tifa awaited his answer. None came. It wasn't like she expected an answer, she wanted the truth. Why this sudden move was needed. Or whatever he needed. . .

Cloud gave in. He couldn't say it, and never probably would be able to. His one weakness, breaking everything that made him. _Tifa. . ._

"I'm. . . sorry." Cloud's shoulders slumped down to his original state. Cloud turned around to leave. The light tug of his hand brought him back. A shock ran through his body. He turned back to look at Tifa. Tears swelled in her eyes.

"Tifa. . ." Cloud embraced her swiftly. His arms wrapped tight around her body. This was the closest he would be with her. The only time he could be with Tifa without questioning himself on what he had to say or do to prove himself to her. It wasn't enough. . . He needed Tifa, more than his own life. _Will she ever think the same? _He closed his eyes, bringing Tifa closer against his chest. "I'm sorry." He whispered lightly in her ear.

_Why?_ Tifa asked herself the same question as before. There was always a "Why?". It was no doubt Cloud Strife had never explained himself thoroughly. Questioning seemed to be the only way to get what she wanted to know. She couldn't. Something in her was tired of asking questions. Cloud showed no affection to her. That's what made it so difficult for her. Her love for Cloud would be everlasting. No matter what he did, where he was, or what he did to her.

Sad, the only thing that brought them together was one another's sadness rather than the love they both shared for each other.

The men in the bar gossiped over the two young lovers. Shaking their heads and laughing at both their oblivious love. _Kids, _they thought.

Tifa stopped crying forcing herself to be happy. Another thing she attempted to do and failed. She dug her face into his neck, just trying to forget everything that was happening around her.

Cloud became a little tense. He was fighting against himself from doing anything stupid. It wasn't working. He finally prevailed, letting his own self take control. Cloud pulled Tifa from his chest, her eyes were closed, drowsy. He placed his hand on her neck, bringing his lips to hers.

Tifa's eyes shot open in bewilderment. His lips melted into hers, soothing every muscle in her body. With no intention she kissed him back. She closed her eyes wrapping her arms around Cloud's neck. She couldn't help it, she wanted Cloud, every piece of him. But not now. . .

Tifa pushed Cloud away walking out of Seventh Heaven. Cloud stood in the same spot, the drunkards laughing below their breath.

"Way to go, man!" Someone yelled then laughed. Cloud clenched his hands into fists. Walking up to the man, lifting him from his seat by his shirt. The man stopped laughing, struggling to get out of Cloud's grasp. Cloud stopped for a minute, thinking of the mistakes he was making. Cloud dropped the man.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Cloud turned his back and exited Seventh Heaven. He needed to leave. Get away. He messed up badly, and slowly his self-control was draining away.

Tifa wasn't outside. In fact she wasn't anywhere near the bar. Cloud sat on the stairs, his face in his hands. Cloud breathed deeply, trying to drown out his anger. This wasn't like Cloud. Something was wrong with him, something he couldn't handle. Cloud stood and left. Nowhere to go by away.

Author's Note: Hello fellow viewers. Just wanted to say thanks for the inspiration in everything. It's awesome to know I have somebody waiting for me to finish another chapter. Well I don't have much to say. Contact me if you'd like if you don't find something clear. Hope you will enjoy this chapter!

-Zlyxan-


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter IV_

_Shunned Emotions_

_-Zlyxan-_

The church was silent. The only sound that had been made was a drop of water that was forced to the floor. As quiet as it was, there was no echo; but as Cloud walked on the decrepit wooden floor, the church seemed to liven up more in sense of an important presence. Cloud gazed into the shallow pool of water in the center of the church, staring at his reflection. _The reflection of a fool. . . _He thought.

Cloud rubbed his face, the tiredness showing in his eyes. Cloud settled himself on the floor; encircling his fingers in the water. _Rejected._ The word that seemed to come to his mind every time he thought of her. Out of all times he needed Aerith, she is gone at his worst problem. Why couldn't Cloud come out and say it? The only woman he couldn't stand to be away from.

Cloud's heart beat intensely. Why had fate been so deserting to him? Cloud laid down, putting his forearm over his eyes. Despair surrounded him, tainted thoughts corrupting his mind.

Tifa walked back into Seventh Heaven, wiping the tears that she had shed before. The bar was practically empty when she entered.

As the last man left the bar, Tifa finally closed the bar. With no happiness brought upon her face, she went down stairs with the kids. Denzel and Marlene were already sleeping soundly. Tifa made a small smile before turning off the lights.

The morning light shined through the church. Blinding his eyes as he woke. There was a soft wind. Cloud sat up. A petite shadow showed at his side. Cloud was motionless, some emotion clueless to any presence. A butterfly fluttered passed Cloud, the bright colors of its wings against the dark church. Silent footsteps approached from behind Cloud, the wood creaked lowly. The shadow growing from distance.

"Cloud." The soft voice penetrated through his heart slowly. He couldn't find himself. Everything seemed as a dream in an odd way. The fierce memories of the day before ran through his head, another stake pierced through his heart.

There in the sunlight stood Elena. Cloud glanced at her face, rebuking her figure in his mind.

"Cloud? Why do you stay here?" Elena asked solemnly. She gently placed her hand on his shoulder, looking into his eyes. Cloud didn't make an attempt to move. What was her question to him? Just a bundle of words that didn't seem to make a difference.

". . . I can think here, without anyone interrupting my timid thoughts." Cloud looked down into the water glaring at the reflection of what seemed to be an illusion. Elena sighed. Sought to know the difference of love and despair. What an aggravation it was to understand.

Elena couldn't muster up a solution to his sadness. And there was nothing the both of them could do to make matters slightly easier. But what was the urge of giving up in Cloud? He had never given up on Tifa, even during the times of loneliness spent between them. Cloud shook his head.

Cloud looked up into the big gap of sky revealed from the church. It was beginning to snow again. Softly, not so heavily. But the tiny flakes that fell glistened against the water as it fell. Cloud watched the process over and over again, intending a sudden question to come to him. But none came.

Elena sat beside Cloud, vigilant on his few actions.

"Sometimes I come here too. Sometimes I can feel Aerith telling me to do the right thing," Elena smiled and began again, "but that's not what counts." She looked at Cloud's empty face.

Cloud stared at her, confused to her statement. "What do you mean?"

Elena stared down to the water, "I know Aerith hopes for the best in us, but we can't always go by how she feels about things. You can't compare Cloud. Not to what she would do, to what you would do. You love Tifa but you keep on thinking on what Aerith would do, rather than coming up with your own solution."

Cloud hung his head low before speaking, "you're wrong." Cloud shook his head with a stern face. His reactions surely showed his ambition for both women. But when it came to choose, what was his choice? Had Elena been correct about his feelings that still lingered with Aerith?

"Stop, Cloud. Why can't you just say it? You speak as if I don't know how you feel. You must let go." Elena stared into Cloud's eyes, the anxiety burning there in his pupils.

"Why are you doing this? Why can't you leave me alone? Nothing is wrong with me. Nothing. . ." Cloud hit is fist against the church floor, raising to his feet. Elena followed, watching him go. Cloud left the church without her consent. Wandering again, without direction.

Tifa lay solidly on the bed, trying to go to sleep. Two sleeping pills and still no sleep. Her head was beginning to ache again. She couldn't quite explain it. Every thought was directed to Cloud. The faint image of Aerith and him together as they used to be. The way Aerith fit Cloud with no consecutive occurring problems. How was it so easy for her? A tear slide down Tifa's face.

She couldn't be with Cloud. Not as long as Cloud still loved Aerith. She could see it in him. Every deep thought that came through him was just as Aerith would've wanted him to think. Forward, oblivious, unstable, and senseless.

Tifa wished it was all gone. Her feelings, hate, encouragement, everything. Nothing was getting her closer to Cloud, and sadly when it did, there was that one similarity. Even though that similarity would continue, could she live with that? The feeling that Cloud wasn't all hers?

She couldn't. No matter how hard she tried to forget.


	5. Chapter 5

_Shunned Emotions_

_-Zlyxan-_

_Chapter V_

Tifa awoke to the playing children. Both Denzel and Marlene running around the room playing tag. It was mid-evening Saturday, thankfully not a working day. Tifa rose from the bed, hurrying to the children and tickling them. They howled in laughter inching away from her grasp. When finally split apart from each other, Tifa went to make them all breakfast.

It was snowing lightly, the sun glowing far in the distance. Tifa stared outside for a minute, gazing at the snow falling at a gradual pace.

Tifa sluggishly removed all the ingredients from the small cabinets at the foot of the bar table. Once everything she needed was out, she inspected it thoroughly.

It was getting colder, the snow clinging to his clothes, arms, and hair. He wouldn't stop walking. There was nowhere to go, no one to meet. Cloud's conversation with Elena was entering his mind again. Her words were true, but harsh. His heart burned between the two women. The two that delighted his senses by their simple smile; then, Aerith's painstaking death by Sephiroth. Fate hadn't had to be like this? Certainly, not.

The path began to get windier, kicking up sand and carrying it with the snow. Cloud shivered from the coolness. He was almost to Midgar, another half a mile or so.

Early when Cloud had been in the church and exited, he left to Kalm. Cloud decided to stay in the inn, since there wasn't many places he could stay at in Midgar. It seemed everyone except Tifa had gone some where else. Cid still probably lived in Rocket Town. Vincent - most likely in the abandoned mansion of Nibelheim; Yuffie in Wutai; Barret, helping over at North Corel.

Nothing had been really close to where he started. But then again there was Costa del Sol. Cloud never looked forward staying there at all, but it was a place to crash and to stay indoors. So why had Cloud stayed in Midgar? Not once did he try to use the PHS to contact someone. He made himself distant to others.

It was Tifa. Cloud couldn't doubt it. The only reason he stayed in Midgar, was because of her, because he couldn't stand to be away from her. Just as he could feel the distance rise when he trudged further away. He knew it. But why could he not achieve his goal of finally reaching her. Being able to hold her in his arms without thinking poorly.

Elena had spoken to him about Aerith being too much in his life. A comparison that was always correct. Aerith, but compared to Tifa, was a friend, a friend that had good advice to keep him going. Cloud needed Aerith too. Cloud needed the push in the right direction, it wasn't that Tifa couldn't inspire him to do so; it was just so plain in Aerith's eyes. Aerith knew his weaknesses and when he needed to be encouraged. Tifa would try to say some thing, but cut out at the end, thinking herself as wrong.

Cloud fell to his knees and onto the snow. It was so cold, his muscles felt frozen. Cloud removed the blade from his back. Cloud could barley move. His warmth was diminishing rapidly. His body was tired, practically yelping for a slight amount of sleep. Cloud's blood flow became slower; dizziness rising to his head until he finally fainted.

Tifa paced around the tiny space behind the bar. Thinking about her decisions. She was being unreasonable, she made herself the enemy. Why did she feel guilt for a slight rebuke? The silence gathered around her. Tifa's body shivered.

Denzel and Marlene encircled Tifa then crashed into her in a hard embrace. Tifa kneeled down to their height and hugged them.

"Where's Cloud, Tifa?" Denzel asked in suspicion. Marlene pushed him gently, a glare in her eye telling him to not go any further. Tifa thought hard and sighed.

"Cloud had some work he had to attend to. I don't think he'll be back today. . . Or tomorrow for that matter." Tifa looked away from the children's stare. Marlene became curious.

"Work? Are you sure? I saw him leave yesterday really mad."

Tifa's reaction was priceless. Truly how could she explain what she had done? Tifa felt even more guilty. She hurt Cloud and now she had to lie to the kids.

"I was actually going to go look for him later on today. . . I wanted to tell him something." Tifa changed the subject as if she didn't hear Marlene's questions.

"You are, huh? Then, why not right, now? You have to open the bar in a couple of hours and you won't be able to step out once." Marlene pressed on forward; Denzel making no comment on their conversation.

"Well, I guess I could go right now could I. . ." Tifa slowed to a stop. She was digging the hole deeper.

"Then go. Me and Denzel will go to Ms. Gainsborough's house." Marlene grabbed Denzel's hand and ran to get ready.

Tifa kneeled there, lost. Her heart hurt. Every time Cloud's name ran through her mind she felt distress. She couldn't help to feel sorrowful. Why was it now she realized that hurting Cloud hurt her with the same intensity? Tifa's stomach churned.

Denzel and Marlene came up from the room below. Denzel walked over to the door as Marlene made her way over to Tifa.

"You can go Tifa, Denzel and I will be fine on our own." Marlene smiled before she walked herself out with Denzel following behind. Tifa sighed and stood firmly. Her mind captivated her. It was like a cage her emotions couldn't get out of. Tifa walked out of the bar, locking it then sitting down on the steps. Denzel and Marlene were nothing but a blur in the distance now. The snow was getting heavy. The sun disappeared among the clouds. The temperature seemed to lower every day.

Tifa stood from the stairs, walking. To place that she believed could not be found.


	6. Chapter 6

_Shunned Emotions_

_-Zlyxan-_

Chapter VI 

The sound of a woman's cry entered his hearing. Still he opened his eyes and nothing but black came to him. He could feel the warm fingertips gliding across his skin. His body shivered under the warmth. His name was whispered numerously, yet his mind couldn't decipher who it was.

"Cloud." It was a woman's voice. A wave of warmth covered his body making him lightheaded. A soft pressure around his biceps getting tighter and tighter. Cloud relaxed his body letting the warmth surge through him. The sound of a door shutting entered his hearing. Cloud could here two women socializing quietly in the back, perhaps, Tifa? But then again, it wasn't a good thing for Cloud to get his hopes up, especially after his uncontrollable acts.

Suddenly Cloud felt a strong embrace, the coolness of the woman's skin stinging his neck. When the woman finally released him, he could hear the two women debating again, but a bit more aggressive. Cloud ignored the conversation, trying to fall asleep.

Vincent sat at the bar, staring at Tifa as she paced back and forth thoughtlessly. He made not one remark, of course. But somehow he felt it was his fault. Tears sprang from Tifa's eyes as she walked out of the bar. Vincent rubbed his face before stepping off the barstool.

There sat Tifa on the steps, hugging her knees like a child. Vincent removed his cape, wrapping it around Tifa; then sat down next to her.

"Thanks." Although Tifa made no eye contact, Vincent nodded.

"Tifa, I am unforgivably sorry. If I had gotten there earlier, I could have. . ."

"Stop Vincent. It's not your fault. It's mine." Vincent stared into the snow then back to Tifa. Although his plead for forgiveness was declined he couldn't help to believe that it wasn't his fault. Yet, Tifa blamed herself without any reason he knew of.

"If I may ask, why you have blamed yourself?" Vincent asked in a subtle voice.

Tifa thought back to the recent events. Burning in her memories, another regret that claimed her. Could she say it to Vincent? A man so distinct from her, that seemed to worry about her decisions and her emotional state. But Tifa knew she couldn't release that certain information. Who knows what would be the result.

Vincent lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. "Why do you hide your emotions from everyone around you?"

Tifa looked into his sincere eyes, trying to make the decision. It was plain to see Vincent had had feelings for Tifa once before. It was only that he shadowed himself from her and everyone around him to keep his thoughts to himself, but, even so, Tifa sadly couldn't return those feelings. The only person she could reveal her feelings to was Cloud, and it would be Cloud and Cloud only.

"Because I believe that what I say might hurt others. . . And truly, I don't look forward to do such things." Vincent dropped his hand and looked away from Tifa.

"What makes you ponder of such relentless ideas? If you pity speaking to an apprentice about your feelings, how will you ever detect the opinion of another? How do you suppose you can get along if you don't know the wisdom of another?" Vincent spoke as he stood and helped Tifa to her feet.

Tifa didn't reply but walked inside of the bar. Vincent slowly followed behind, giving her reaction thought.

By the time Vincent entered the room, Tifa was making her way downstairs. Vincent sighed heavily before trudging after her. Even through the darkness of the room you could spot Cloud Strife; he lay in Tifa's bed, asleep. Tifa interlaced her hands in Cloud's; she could feel the coolness that still lingered on his skin.

"Tifa." Vincent spoke without emotion.

Tifa didn't respond. She was concentrated on the blonde fighter in front of her. Cloud had been sleeping for almost 12 hours now.

"Tifa, come here." Vincent stood by the couch in the center of the room. Tifa sighed and left Strife to talk to Vincent.

"What, Vincent?" Tifa didn't mean to sound aggressive, she had just been irritable lately.

"May I ask you a question – but you must respond?" Tifa nodded in response.

"Are you in love with Cloud?" Vincent spoke in a low voice, almost secretive.

Tifa looked away from Vincent's stare. It had to be that question, the one question that seemed to blind her.

"What's there to think, Tifa? Do you want me to say it for you?" Tifa brought her eyes back up to Vincent, questionable.

"If you know the answer why are you asking me?" Tifa's voice became defensive.

"Why, you ask? I ask you because I know you cannot speak your own emotions. Truly, Tifa, what is there to hide that everybody can see?"

Tifa was speechless, dumbfounded. She sat down on the couch, pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them. Vincent began again.

"Do you trust me?" Vincent sat beside her.

"Yes, I do." Tifa mumbled silently.

"Am I lying if I say that you are in love with Cloud?" Vincent awaited her answer.

"No. . . You aren't." Tifa closed her eyes, hoping Vincent wasn't staring at her.

"Was that so hard to say?" Vincent moved a strand of Tifa's hair to the back of her ear. Tifa's eyes were beginning to swell up with tears.

"Yes, very."

"What exactly bothers you about your love for Cloud?" Vincent's was sincere now.

"I don't know, perhaps the fact that I don't know how to respond to his love. I never know whether he is in love with me or in love with Aerith. It sometimes makes me feel like a substitute since Aerith's. . . death." The tears in Tifa's eyes grew, but she swore she wouldn't shed a tear. Vincent was quiet for a moment, and Tifa could feel his eyes on her.

"Have you confronted Cloud about these feelings?"

Tifa's eyes opened, the thought of asking Cloud was difficult. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if he still loved Aerith. "Of course, not. I've thought of asking him, but I'm not strong enough to ask him something like that."

"What fear keeps you from telling Cloud this? Rejection?" Tifa was caught up in her own mind. Vincent grabbed her chin and turned her face towards his. The movement was so abrupt the tears fell down Tifa's cheeks.

"I'm sorry. I know this is rough for you, but you shouldn't be afraid." Vincent wiped Tifa's tears away with his sleeve.

"It's okay." Tifa gathered herself back together.

Vincent waited a few minutes to see if Tifa was going to answer his question and finally spoke, "So?" Vincent asked once more.

"Probably rejection." Tifa spoke softly.

"Sometimes, Tifa, we must battle our emotions. Fight the one thing that is holding you back from finding the right answer. You not speaking to Cloud is killing you because your emotions are taking over. However, if you were to converse with Cloud about how you feel, you can either take it badly or be happy. If Cloud were to resent you, I'm pretty sure you would care less of him. We all move on, and if we don't, only pain comes."

Tifa nodded.

"Well, I must be going. I have to stop back at Kalm for something." Vincent stood before helping Tifa get up.

Tifa watched as Vincent departed from Seventh Heaven. The snow was still falling, but the temperature wasn't as cold. Staring at Vincent leave, it seemed like the temperature didn't affect him at all. Tifa watched him disappear behind a building then entered Seventh Heaven again.

Tifa locked the doors and turned around, only to see a dark figure coming into the light from the staircase.

"Hello, Tifa, well, looks like we have a lot to talk about, eh? A smile spread across Cloud's face.


End file.
